When you actually confront and stand up to your fears, you get to see what you’re made of. But the truth is, once you’ve found your life partner, your journey doesn’t end when you say the words “I do.” Imagine a budding entrepreneur who has raised one million dollars in financing for her venture. ” But the initial seed money isn’t the goal; the goal is a successful company.
Ironically, the most loving thing you can do for yourself in your dating life is to face your fears by saying, “Thanks for helping out; I see what you’re trying to do and I appreciate your concern. The same is true when it comes to matters of the heart.
Rather than looking for someone to save you from yourself or validate you, rescue and validate yourself first.
Perfect into your lap, but the truth is, women benefit from experiencing mistakes and wrong turns.
Lord knows, I went through a lot of trial and error in my dating life before I met my husband, and for a lot of women, this will also be the case.
She is a certified relationship coach and launched Get a Love Life in order to help single older women who might be dating on and off but are struggling to have dating experiences that eventually lead to falling in love.
She offers dating coaching for both women and men but women are her primary audience and the majority of the testimonials and success stories on her site come from women.
So, here’s my list of just a few of the ways that you’re doing it all wrong: There’s nothing worse than feeling like you’re being interviewed on a date or when you suspect your date is measuring you against some sort of future-spouse checklist instead of getting to know who you really are.
When you’re meeting someone new, relax and throw out the lengthy checklist so you can start to see beyond the superficial.
Talk about your passions; encourage your date to talk about his passions — find out what you have in common. I’ve been there: You meet a guy who seems utterly perfect for you and your chemistry is on fire.
Suddenly, you start to feel like you’ll die if it doesn’t work out, as if he’s the last guy with whom you’ll ever have chemistry.
Maybe you start to mold yourself into the woman who you think he wants you to be, just so you can hold on to him. When you don’t go into the early stages of dating with an immediate attachment to outcome (“This just has to work out or I’ll die, and there will never be another guy out there for me!
”), you’ll feel a lot more relaxed and more able to just be yourself. You might fantasize about how great life would be if the heavens parted and dropped Mr.
Choose to live by a growth mindset (“I can grow from my experiences”), as opposed to a destiny mindset (“my path to love is fixed, so no need for learning and growth”). Often times, women get swept up in this notion of being rescued by a man who will take away all of their problems or will fill the voids in their lives.