Subconsciously all of us are looking for someone who feels like the pepper to our salt shaker.
The more that two people look and feel like a matched pair, be it in appearance, cultural background, economic expectations, psychological wounds and strengths, speech patterns, interests and more, the more likely they will say, "Yes! " One way therefore to think of picking a life partner is to heed the words of Erich Fromm from his 1960's book The Art of Loving.
For a new look, pick a store whose clothes you really like and have the salespeople pick out some new outfits.
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A second tip: Ask friends to think about anyone they know who could be a good match.
Most matches are made by being “fixed up,” the same as most jobs are found by referral by a friend.
Use this data base as a starting point for picking who you would like to partner with. In the hunt for a marriage partner, appearances matter. Looks alone won't get you a wedding ring, but to score eventually you have to first attract some initial candidates. How long has it been since you've picked up a new shirt? Take a quick moment too before you leave the house to add a dab of lipstick.
As psychologist Erich Fromm wrote in his classic book , the best partners to choose are 'like what you like best about yourself.' Remember, think salt and pepper shakers. Hit the weight loss programs, guys and gals, if extra poundage is hiding your natural body shape. Are you dressing like a grownup who is strutting her stuff, or like a high school kid who is hanging out with whomever?
Fourth tip: a word of warning on increasing the activity-level of your mate search.
At the same time as you make the hunt for a life partner a top priority, do keep living your life.
At the same time, if you are all about the other person with virtually no talking about yourself, you are likely to be at risk for attracting a narcissistic other. Do I assume that I can know what they should do or what they think and feel instead of asking them? While you are at it, get savvy about gender differences in decision-making. If you have not learned from history you may be understandably cautious about repeating it. Were one or both of my parents unhappy in their marriage?
You may feel in relationships that you are always waiting for the other shoe to fall and then suddenly, poof, the relationship will be over. If your parents looked unhappy or fought a lot, odds are that marriage looks unappealing to you.
Constant shopping and hunting can get demoralizing.