I couldn’t even dare look at other men in the eye for fear of being judged, the way my ex used to judge me.”4.
Tracy: “When my boyfriend’s mum died, he became so nasty.
He often told me I was emotionally unstable and that I had a ‘victim complex,’ which I now realise was a Get Out of Jail Free card he could play whenever he liked.”6. Extrovert and intelligent, he was the life and soul of the party.
A year passed before the physical violence slowly crept in (which led to hospitalisation and a miscarriage), but it’s apparent to me now that the emotional abuse was so expertly played out from the very beginning, that I didn’t even notice it until I regained my sanity post-separation.
We were in love and that was worth fighting for, or so I thought. I’ve always been drawn towards guys that were talkative, confident, and funny. I honestly didn’t understand that what was happening was very wrong.
The last straw was when he told me he hated me, that I was a weak person who would never succeed in life. After a year we moved in together and the problems started. My previous relationships were OK, but this was the first time I had ever lived with anyone.
For a long time while we were living together he was unemployed and he never offered to cook or contribute towards the running of the house.
One time I came home from work during the day because I was ill and he shouted at me for ruining his day at home alone and refused to go out to get food or medicine for me.
He once made me swear that I loved him more than my own mum and dad.
He’d said he’d been through my phone and knew I was cheating on him. He broke my ankle which now bears hideous scars, pins, and plates.”2.
All my colleagues at work know how crazy you are, I’ve told them and they said they don’t know how I put up with you. You’re fucked up.” This was what my then-boyfriend shouted at me as I was crumpled on the floor, sobbing.