Men and women with children are dating because they want to move on with their lives. They are not dating you because they want to feel free, or get revenge.
They are looking for someone to make them forget what it was like to have children with someone you can’t stand. That’s not how men and women with kids think when they are dating. If you have the same serious feelings about them, then let go the bad thoughts and think of happiness with the person you enjoy spending most of your time with.
Do you really think that this will change your partner’s mind?
He has already been separated regardless of having children, so this is not a true obstacle for him.
Avoid saying nasty things about their mother of father. On the contrary, you might end up being hated for trying to get between them. Don’t position yourself opposite them because either way you will lose and you don’t deserve this.
If you are dating someone with kids, you have to accept that everyone has their own role in this love game. You are an independent person with your own qualities that has a great personality.
Are you able to see them getting into a defensive position? Do they give you straight answers and are confident about their new relationship with you? If you are dating someone with kids and you constantly bring it up, you are risking your entire relationship. Especially when they have just went through a difficult break up or a divorce.
They need some time to take it easy and not being pushed.
If your partner’s children are younger than 10 years old you will have better chance to be liked.
Kids are more approachable at this tender age and you can be their new friend. No matter how sweet it might sound, you need to stop it right away.
If you are dating someone with kids older than 10 years old, then you have to remember that they are going through their teen phase when things are uncertain. If they show some kind of disrespect, don’t take it personally. Even if they like you, they need to see strong evidence that you are “cool” enough for them. Competing with the real mother or father of the kids never ends well.
They have a huge advantage, so what’s the point of trying to compete with them? It’s not a competition where you need to show what a great mother you would be if it was you in the first place.
If you trust them enough (see rule #1), you can get into details about your fears. Let them reassure you that it’s OK and you can still go on dates.