Not all values are the same and sometimes you can have two very good people with very good values, but those values can feel at war with each other.As I wrote in “If your core values can’t dance together, then you’ll keep tripping, falling and wondering why you can’t move together in rhythm.” For example, you could have a high value for responsibility and the person you’re dating could have a high value for risk.There are many more, let's just say, complicated, parts to our story right about here..to shorten it a little, D finally got up the nerve to ask me to be his girlfriend at 4pm on January 19, 2001 over the wonderful technology known as AIM. Proms, Military Balls (D was in JROTC all through high school), countless dates, and college. We've never lived more than 5 minutes apart throughout our entire relationship, so why should college be any different?
He had been doing these god-awful King Kong impressions a little too loudly for his buddies in the back of the room and got himself moved to the front, beside me, because I apparently was quiet and responsible. We spent hours on the phone with one another every night and into the early morning.
My mother placed strict "D hours" on the phone..talking after 10pm. Neither of us can remember what we talked about or how we even had that much to talk about, but it didn't matter.
Both values are good, but if not articulated and discussed it could be a point of high conflict if the responsible person likes consistency and persistence, while the risk-taker likes changing things up and going for the impossible.
Take me for example, one of my core values is authenticity.
New school and a cool middle school image to uphold. It wasn't until 8th grade, while grading papers for my algebra teacher during lunch (teachers pet, I know), I looked out the window and saw D walking with his buddies back from lunch. Cut to 9th grade and the start of our Economics, Legal, and Political course with Mrs. I walked in that Monday morning to find D sitting in the corner of the room. We actually didn't start sitting together out of our own free will. I am positive this time in our lives contributed to both of our lack of knowledge regarding all things legal and political..that's just fine with me.
He, for some odd reason, happened to look up and noticed me watching him. D was moved to the desk beside me, towards the front of the room, because he was a troublemaker. Because of D's divine placement beside me in class, our friendship started to grow to much, much more.
Alot of wonderful things were said, I'm sure, but I don't remember anything but saying yes!
We were married on a HOT summer day in July of 2007 in front of almost 300 of our closest family and friends.
It was one of the greatest days of our lives and after 12 years together, things just keep getting better!