On the other hand, it's extremely powerful when you allow your spouse to experience his or her true feelings and validate his or her emotions. One spouse's validating attitude confirms that the other spouse has a right to feel the way he or she does.
The message is that it's OK to think or feel the way he or she does.
Validation occurs when we help our spouse feel unconditionally accepted.
As a result, some people with BPD (There's a spectrum of severity when it comes to the disorder.) may be very sensitive to feeling invalidated. Dardashti, straight up, "Do you think it's fair to say there's a link between ghosting and BPD?
" She says that the link isn't a leap by any means. "If they're perceiving the situation as invalidating, it can be hard to communicate with them and get through to them because, now, they've gone to that place of 'you're all bad,'" Dr. Essentially, they feel as though you've done something to them, so they're done. But, as we all know, ghosting might happen when we didn't even realize that anything had gone wrong in the first place.
Most of us truly want to validate our spouse when he or she is frustrated or hurting, but often we don't know how to offer validation or we start to give advice.
I have usually found that if I validate Erin, she is able to work out her own emotional problems faster than if I give her advice.
This can be difficult for me, because Erin's emotions or perspectives often push my buttons.
I get defensive or go into fix-it mode so quickly that it keeps me from validating her.
Also, they're unable to have a firm grasp over their own self-identity.
Their sense of self changes so often that the minute you don't suit whatever self-definition they have, they'll ghost you.
She felt they suffered from the same personality disorder her own ex (who also ghosted her) has.