It’s hard not to take it personally especially when it feels like you’ve been having a great time or that you could be so great together ‘if only’ they’d put in the time, energy, effort, and emotion but fact is, as humans we overestimate our capacity to be and do certain things and when it all gets a bit too real for us and we don’t have the high of the honeymoon period to carry us along – everything feels great at the beginning including new habits and interests – the reality of what we’ve been saying and doing along with any expectations created plus our own feelings, is exposed.The thing is, it’s not your job to open up someone’s schedule or their emotions for that matter.
Many people protest about how “super busy” they are – I’ve been guilty of this at times myself – and I regularly hear the, “I don’t have time for dating” and “I don’t have time for a relationship” defences along with what pretty much amounts to, “You draw the short end of the stick including my casual attitude towards you and even my neglect because, well, you know – I’m super busy.
Have I mentioned how important I am or how insane my job is, or how everybody wants a piece of me?
He’s telling you he doesn’t check his phone so that you won’t text him and then get pissed off or needy when he doesn’t reply right away to set up another date.
He’s also alerted you to the fact that he has a packed schedule for the next six weeks.
” Just as who people are is self-evident, where a person’s priorities lie and what they make time for is self-evident too.
I don’t dispute that we’re busy people living in a busy world.
I’m not saying don’t get laid or have fun with folk; I’m saying quit with the whole I Am The Busiest Person On Earth, Possibly Busier Than A World Leader or Superhero protestations. Stop using it to manage down people’s expectations – manage your own.
Busyness is something that offers us protection from having to be vulnerable and having to face aspects of ourselves and our lives.
What he’s actually saying is, “Stop asking me when we’re going to get together again.” He hasn’t come out and said it explicitly, but that’s what he’s saying when he says that he rarely checks his phone or email. He doesn’t have to be checking his phone every half hour, but most people these days check their phones at least once or twice a day if not more.
As I’ve said, it takes all of two minutes to reply to an email or text.
I’ll also help you tweak/write your profile if it needs some freshening up.