You’ve done it—you’ve found a person online who seems to be perfect for you.That is, until you receive a message or phone call confessing that the picture he sent wasn’t really him, and that he’s actually five years older than he claimed, but now that you’ve gotten to know him, that shouldn’t be a problem, right? The intent is to trick potential dates into falling for their “inner beauty,” but all this ruse really reveals about someone is that he’s a liar.
I exchanged phone numbers with a guy, and when he called me to set up a date, he was drunk,” says Lindsay.
“I should’ve taken that as a sign, but I figured it was Friday night, so I shouldn’t judge.
When we met up in person, he was a [jerk] and kept asking me if I ‘liked to party.’” So a good rule of thumb is: if your date is drunk the first time you talk to him on the phone, end it there.
A person who constantly makes plans and then cancels them, or who can talk on the phone only at certain times of the day, either has an incredibly demanding job or is not quite as single as she claims.
People who employ this tactic generally aren’t tender souls who are afraid of rejection; they’re just not confident enough to be themselves.
Some brazen daters even post contradictory information right on their profile (“I’m really forty, even though I listed my age as thirty-five”), as justification for trying to show up in more searches for “men over six feet tall,” or “women under forty.” Presenting oneself in the best light is one thing, but outright lying is quite another.
Watching out for these warning signs can make it easier to take a relationship from email to in-person.
But once you’re at your first dinner date, you’re on your own.
Once an almost unheard-of phenomenon, online dating is today a go-to resource for many busy, career-oriented individuals for finding their true love and future partners.
While many succeed in finding their loved ones using this relatively new medium, many become victims to what is known as ‘romance’ or ‘sweetheart’ scams.
If the person doesn’t even want to talk on the phone or meet for coffee, it’s okay to wonder what his motivations are.