Or think about agreeing to donate to worthy organizations in lieu of a gift exchange. Think "compromise" rather than "sacrifice." Are you and your new boyfriend talking about how to split up the holidays?
Does he want you to spend the holidays with his family members, while you want him to spend them with yours?
If he has trouble pacing himself, suggest that he commit to having two glasses of water — or three — for every alcoholic beverage.
He'll probably be relieved if you let him off the hook, explaining it'll be easier on both of you that way. Similarly: Don't be offended if he doesn't bring you to his. Don't tell yourself, "Oh, what the hell — why not kill two birds with one stone?
" Introducing a new guy to anyone in your family automatically ups the ante, especially during the holiday season.
if she will leave the peppering to the salad dressing.
Let him know about anything he can do to earn easy brownie points.
Also, sometimes our families make us act not like our better selves, to say the least.
You don't want a new guy to see you behaving childishly or peevishly.
When I first mentioned that I was going to be talking about tips to help daters survive the holidays, a bunch of readers said, "Avoid dating till January!
" The holidays stress us out — there's so much to do, shopping sucks, it's cold, and any existing family tensions are exacerbated — so trying to get a new relationship started is the last thing you want to add to your to-do list, especially because there are so many holiday minefields that could blow the fragile little romance to smithereens. Don't feel compelled to bring some new guy to your office party.
I once got my boyfriend a booklet of carwash, wax, etc.
A bag of gummy worms attached to a new book for the "bookworm", a container made to look like a medicine bottle filled with chocolates (label it vitamin "C") for a chocoholic, or even a jar of Hershey's "hugs" and "kisses".
If it's geographically possible, split the difference.