How would men on Tinder treat someone who told them upfront she had a boyfriend?
This meant two things: 1) One third of the men who messaged me had read all of my profile, including the part in which I said I would not respond to them, and 2) they felt that, since they had read my profile, they were better than average and I owed them a conversation about what I was doing. It was totally disturbing – about 12% of the men who messaged me started out aggressively sexual like this. Four out of his seven messages were simply girls saying “hey” – meaning they also did not read his profile.
I’m a firm believer that probably 90% of the time, girls do not owe guys shit. There were guys, though, that took my being on Tinder yet not available to them very personally. I feel like I didn’t do enough damage to you to cause you to say that. He had one girl say she read his profile and was curious what my research was about – totally acknowledging I existed!
Since you have to “Like” people, or swipe right, to get any chance of interaction, Doug and I both swiped right on 100 people (no rejections, or left swipes) to start things off. Oh man, that first night we were on Tinder, I was over at Doug’s place and my phone was just going off.
Before I had even finished my swipes, I’d already matched with a guy who immediately called me a cunt and then blocked me, another dude who so eloquently complimented me with “Nice research beeyotch,” and about five other men who just sent a “Hey,” meaning they really didn’t look at anything on my profile besides the pouty-lipped, blonde photo of me. Out of the 100 guys I swiped right on, I immediately matched with almost a quarter. Guys were messaging me (“hey” more than anything) telling me I was beautiful, asking about my research, more.
And that other 10% – guys that read my profile and were still sexual aggressive – were the absolute worst of all. Ladies on Tinder, be prepared to “owe” guys conversation on yet another social space, no matter what. She’s written for Xo Jane, The Fanzine, Weird Sister and The Newer York and started the anti-street-harassment blog “But What Was She Wearing?
” Kati has been surviving off of pizza, glitter and glam rock since 1991.
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There’s no doubt that Tinder is the best way to get a date, hookup and find love online.
Since I’ve been in a serious relationship with my boyfriend Doug for nearly two years now, Tinder has never been necessary to me.
Still, I’ve always found it curious how the app has the tagline “It’s How People Meet,” so different from other dating apps, which put the focus on love and connection and building relationships.
Tinder is doing everything to maintain your privacy and prevent that from happening, but there’s still the possibility that one of these things could haunt you: Well the first thing you should know is that the only way Tinder can work is with a Facebook profile.